I'm Back

Hello again. I haven't been doing any blog posts for so long because I've been really busy with my fall semester classes and things just get in the way of my blogging. Now I'm taking spring classes: Psych 300, Psych 305, and another one I just forgot. This is going to be an interesting year. Good? Bad? Probably both, but you know, that's okay. I know that whatever comes at me this year,I know everything will work out just fine. God will help through the dark parts of my life and the bad times I know I will experience. These last few days have been kind of...rough. But there have been some rare moments that I think of something from my past, recent or from a long time ago, that makes me smile or laugh. I hope everyone else is having a better year than I. If you are, make the best of it and enjoy it for it will not last long enough. Trust me, live like there's no tomorrow. If I had one day left to live, I would spend EVERY moment of that day with my friends. Hang out, laugh at stupid things, talk, and be happy with our company. I can only hope that life will be kind to me this year. I want to have a better year than last year. Well that is all for now, goodnight, my friends!

College!

Tomorrow night will be my first day of going back to college classes and this semester I have Women In American History on Tuesdays, which is tomorrow night, and I have an Intro to Sociology that doesn't start til October because it's an eight week class so for now I 'm just taking W.I.A.H. So that will be interesting. I hope my friends had a great first day of college.

So, I will post something later. TTYL!

Sky Watching

I was sitting outside tonight and I was thinking about why I like looking at the sky and why I like when it's twilight out. I know Twilight is a name of a very famous book, but Twilight is also a time of day. A transition from day to night. I love this time of day because The sky is still light blue and that color against the silhouette of the trees is beautiful. I was also thinking about the seasons and why I love the Fall and Winter seasons over Spring and Summer. I've always hated the heat. Never liked it in my life, well, except for when I'm curling up in my bed when it's cold at night. Yes, I do love the cold, but only to a certain extent. But I would rather it be always Fall or Winter weather than Spring or Summer weather. Sometimes I'm okay with being in the sun, but when it gets too hot for me, I can't stand the Summer sun. That's the real reason why I don't like living in California, but mostly Sacramento. When I was a child I never really cared about weather. I never noticed the seasons. All I ever cared about was living in the moment and having fun all the time. Now that I'm eighteen, I always think about my childhood and how oblivious and unaware of the world I was. When I sit outside at this time or at night looking at the moon and the stars, I feel peaceful. This the time that I really love being alone. It feels nice not having to be around people sometimes. I feel most peaceful when I'm either with my friends just hanging out or when I'm just alone looking at the sky.

Nobody's Home By Avril Lavigne

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah


After listening to this song, i realized that this is basically how i feel on a regular every day basis. I never thought about it that way but this songs is how i can describe the way i feel.

Song

Soulmate By Natasha Bedingfield

Incompatible, it don't matter though
Cuz someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find
Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line
Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one.

I heard this song and I thought that I can identify the most with it and I feel the same way. I sort of connected with this song and feel that it kinda goes along with how I feel most of the time.

Angel Drawing

This my angel drawing I drew a week ago. I googled a picture of an angel to inspire this drawing.

Poem

Mistakes

A girl sits in her room.

She stares sadly at the black walls.

She wonders; she worries

About her future.

She regrets and thinks about,

Her past mistakes.

She feels sorry for,

The things she's done.

But her mother has

No faith in her anymore.

She cries all the time,

But the pain doesn't go.

She wishes she could

Take everything back

But to right her wrong,

Would be to never learn

Her lessons.

She wonders if life

Will get better.

She needs somewhere,

To belong.

She needs to find

A way to feel whole again.

The lies she never

Meant to tell.

Still makes her life hell.

She wants someone

To understand her.

She needs

Someone to understand.

Her mother

Makes her feel

Like she has no soul.

Makes her feel

So sick and unloved.

She wants so badly

To feel

Like a person.

Instead, she feels

Like a monster.

Her mother's eyes

So accusing,

So full of hate.

Is it possible

For a mother to hate her daughter?

Is it fair

To call her a liar?

To say she can't stand

Being near her?

Is that what

She deserves?

To be criticized

And treated

Like a criminal?

Is it right?

The mother

Doesn't understand

That the things she says

Hurts so deeply.

Cuts through

The skin,

And stabs the heart,

Like an arrow

Stinging with poison.

Is it possible

To cross

An unseen line

For her mother

To be so cruel?

I wrote this after a particularly awful "conversation" with my mother...